Now I can breathe turn my insides out and smother me.
Profile Let me be the one who calls you baby all the time. M istika, I turned fifteen. I'm an optimist, but it wouldn't hurt for me to be a lil' bit pessimistic. Yes, I'm abnormal, period. Tagboard Archives February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 April 2010 Credits ©Glamouresque.	Wednesday, September 30, 2009 then you can walk away. This is the end. I'm not working hard enough. Fvcking exams. Fvcking mood swings. Fvucking fvcked up timetable. Fvck. I need my friends to make my day ;( This has just been the most random-est post. Last but not least, Happy Birthday Miss/Kak Idzhana! Haha, I don't know which one to use. Sunday, September 27, 2009 he looks around the room. Innocently overlooks the truth. Oh, blogger's cocked up. I'm cocked up. I have not studied for my subjects .____. *puts on a worried look* Art is an ass. I have fourteen chapters to study for Science ;( Damn! I don't pay enough attention during Geography/Literature. I think I didn't do well for my recent History test, let alone EOY. Maths is gonna be a big big problem for me, in the present and the future ;( I have a timetable to follow, but I'm not following it. I have writer's block when it comes to composition and I don't comprehend passages most of the time. I'm gaining but not losing weight. Lastly, I'm not doing my part to save the Earth ;( Boooooh Mistikaaa! Let's put aside the negatives, and begin with the postives * thumbs up! * Hmmm, I'm doing well for Science. My Mathematical thinking is improving bit by bit, with the constant practice, dedication and motivation. I got 7As and 2Bs for my progress report, so that's giving me a little more encouragement. Oh, and oncoming praises I get from friends/family. Thanks guys! I'm able to construct proper sentences now, well, most of the time. At least I did plan my timetable and notes for subjects that I know I'm weak in :D Another plus point! (L) and all my other awesome peers is/are joining in my quest to study hard :D So, hip hip hoooray! And all of us have the same mindset... 3E2! Yes. Friday, September 25, 2009 decisions smisions. Loving you is like breathing, I can't stop. Happy 4 Months (L). You made my day, as usual. Thursday, September 24, 2009 feeling empty again. Cause I fear I might break, and I fear I can't take it. Hari Raya photos are on my Facebook account. Sorry, bloggers such a hassle, it's too troublesome to upload them photos up here. Hayaaaaaa. Yes, Selamat Hari Raya! Sorry for the absence yeah? Been preoccupied with last minute revisions for tests and the up coming examinations. I have no mood for Hari Raya no more ;( Its as though it never began ;( I'm sad. Saturday, September 19, 2009 everyone will have a choice. Watch the sparks fly. Haha. I found four packs of fireworks in the midst of the clutter just now. So, decided to invite my sister and light them up. Most of the pictures were taken by her ^^. Oh this is so cool, and Hari Raya's tomorrow! Awesomexsxsxsxsz. Friday, September 18, 2009 everytime we kiss I can't think straight. Bitter heart, shadows will help you try to hide. First off, Happy Fourteenth Birthday Rachel Taaan! Haha, may all your wishes come true. Better remember what I reminded you in the sms just now arh! You better watch out I tell you. I'm still waiting for you to crash at my place with your guitar. Meet up soon leeeeh. Cause I miss you like crazy. 2 more days to Hari Raya! I'm so excited, although this year I don't feel much of enthusiasm like I felt last year. Hmmmm, maybe cause I've been thinking too much. Oh, and I teared up again today ;( I'm such a sucker for pathetic situations. Did Maths Test Paper with Lesmin today. Justin (2E2) & Lesmin really knows how to give advice and make people think. (L) got so worried when he saw my red and watery eyes. Then he sent me home at around 4pm. I came home and fell into a deep deep sleep till 6:30pm. Awesome power nap :D I know what to do now. Monday, September 14, 2009 with or without you. Here comes the rest of our lives. The test today wasn't that bad. It was a challenge, at some points. Managed to complete it, well, partially. Remind me to sign my Science Test paper, before Mr Ng slaughters me alive tomorrow. Wasn't satisfied, fully. Got a B3, oh! And I think I'm gonna get an A1 for Science (Progress Report). So, that's another highlight for today. Spend recess chatting with Lesmin, study date Friday okay! Florence taught me how to fold a rose, then I gave it to (L). Haha. I was lethargic and exhausted the whole day. Was battling irritating gastric and hunger pangs during classes. I won the battle! Cheh... Haha. New timetable, no more Miss Zhou, which sucks a hell lot. Note: List below updated. Sunday, September 13, 2009 you begin to wonder why you came. I'm gonna be honest. It concerns everyone, so please read. The things that I'm jealous of: People with cameras. People with great photography skills. People who have a tight relationship with their family members. People who don't get frustrated easily. People who seem to click with everyone else. People who don't feel guilty easily. People who can handle money easily. People who are awesome at Maths. People who can play any kind of musical instrument. People who have great hair. People with awesome handwriting. People who can manage their time. People who can sing well. People who don't seem to get what they want instantly. People who don't run out of cash. People who use phone lines and not, pathetic prepaid(s) People who can run at awesome speeds. People who are old enough to drive. People who are allowed to roam wherever, whenever. People who get to spend quality time with themselves. Couples in the same classes/cohort. Mix blooded families. Optimists. Students from SSS. Nabila and Syafiqin. Atikah. Shaqila and Azlan. Everyone else in this cruel and unfair world. The things I dislike: Piercings besides the ear. People complaining, this includes me. Girls/Boys who don't realise their purpose in life. People going through my things without my proper premission. My mum searching through my phone. Whining. Make-up. Short dresses. Girls/Boys who don't realise thier mistakes. Men with their ego. When I get ditched. When I don't get what the teacher's trying to teach. When I don't do my prayers consistantly. When I don't know what the hell Nabila/Siti/Yani/Hannah's talking about. When I see Nabila, cause it reminds me of Syafiqin. When I have a converstaion with Nabila, cause it would only last for a short period of time. When the teacher tells us to get into groups of four. When Nabila/Siti/Yani/Hannah gets grouped together, and I'm left at the back of the class. When other people pipe in into my conversation. When I pipe in into people's conversation. When I know that almost everyone is having a grudge on me. Not seeing Rachel Tan, cause I miss her. Not being able to hit high notes in any song. Trying to act as though I enjoy talking to the certain person in front of me. Deceiving my parents. Being rude to my family members. Shouting my lungs out. Hurting myself. Hurting you. Making people worried. Making you feel like I didn't care. Making myself feel insecure. Being a busybody. Not appreciating. When I think way too much and too far. When I'm walking alone. When I'm at the back of the pack. When you guys aren't there for me. When I have nothing to say to make you feel better. When my words don't make sense. Skipping training. Postponing my religious classes everytime. Not being able to be there when you guys need me the most. Lying. Cheating. Being ignorant. Being insolent. Acting as though I'm such a big shot. Not using my camera. Showing attitude everytime I face some problem of my own. Not able to be at par with my other classmates. Not putting in the effort in everything. When I don't know what I'm gonna do next. Not being myself. I'm being honest. Thursday, September 10, 2009 just a kiss, he won't miss. I'm coming with you. I just got to let this out. So, for those of you who apparently assume that I'm talking about them, please don't get so big-headed and start bitching about me/this. Then again, I'm pretty sure you're already bitching about me already :D I won't resent that. No hard feelings. 1. I don't get people these days. I mean, you want to wear something revealing, but you're afraid people would look at you. Then initially, shouldn't you have thought of, ummm, I don't know, not deciding to put on revealing clothes? Obviously it would attract unnecessary attention, am I correct? We/You obviously have to bear with the consequences of having people staring at us/you. And when they do stare at you/us, there would always be tendency of you/us cursing these passerbys under our/your breaths. I just see no benift in doing this, honestly speaking. You/We obviously don't want to be the centre of attraction (maybe some of us do). Think about it this waaaaay. You wear something modest, people would just have positive and demour thoughts about your personality and appearance. Whereas, compared to you/us wearing something too revealing. 2. I have no heading for this, honestly. Don't you think this is irritatinq ? Havinq to see "qs" instead of "gs" at the end of a word like, savinq, drowninq, sinqle. I would usually have migraines after reading blogs with this complex typing of letters. Y'know, medical doctors should write a report about this and set up a forum, informing us about how this could actually spoil your mind. I'm just kidding. The Romans, with the help some Englishmen and Greeks have kindly and willingly originated the English alphabet. They even positioned the letters according to how they are suppose to be pronounced. Pay these Greeks/Romans/Englishmen some respect. Show them gratitude, respect the alphabet. I don't remember using the letter "q" in the word single. ONCE AGAIN, this is just MY opinion. MY OWN OPINION. Show some consideration to the amount of readers visiting your blog per day. THIS INCLUDES ME. But I have got to admit, how do you guys do it ? I think that's it. If I can recall other points, I'll post them up on my blog. But I'm sure no one reads it ^^. Once again, dear bloggers, this is just my opinion. I don't want the above points or remarks to affect your social/emotinal/physical lifestyle. Afterall, I'm just human, we all are. Wednesday, September 9, 2009 when all we know is falling. I'm somehow, keeping the flame alive. Hey. Had a satisfying dinner. Was not a fancy or spectacular meal, but I'll settle for it. I need ice-cream. There's a tub of raspberry ripple waiting for me to pounce on in the freezer. Haha. I made a list of what to do (my to-do list :D) this afternoon. So far, I've got.. 1 item ticked off the list. That's a start, better than nothing right ? I'm at Asyiqin's blog, but I don't know what I'm doing there. There's no post! Haha. So cool sia her blog. I figured it out! Seriously cool siaaa! I want the picture we took at the airport on Friday, hehehe. Monday, September 7, 2009 someone like me. I hope its gonna make you notice, History sup. today was, not too shabby. Was worth my one hour. I have yet to revise my HE, CAs are coming up! I gotta work extra, extra hard. Huh... I damaged my guitar ;( The 6th string... *piang* Burst. So tragic! I need to restraint myself from texting too much. Money don't go and come just like that you know! Haha. Oh, and I got brand new pens! Have you guys been noticing something? My posts are getting shorter day by day. I need to spice up my life a bit. It's spicy enough, I guess. I just don't post in detail no more. My creative juices are failing me .__. I need ice-cream. Sunday, September 6, 2009 it's taking over me. What else could you take from me? It's the September Holidays! already, but I still have to attend school for History sup. tomorrow. Thanks hor Miss Farhana, give us so many group work to do. Now we're lagging behind in History .___. I still have Malay essay to complete. Just when I thought all burden has been lifted off my chest, another has been added to the pile. Life sucks, y'know. And I figured, I don't sms a whole lot now a days. Which is good, really good actually. Saturday, September 5, 2009 hot sweat and blurry eyes. Another night, another dream wasted on you. What's odd, is that I'm currently chatting with Ashiq. Haha. I don't usually chat on MSN actually. MSN to me is like, a portal for people to kacau me when I'm busy. Haha. Okay, nevermind. I blistered my left index finger, too many failed attempts of making myself look cool strumming my guitar .__. Spent yesterday afternoon with (L), Rasyid, Haziq and Asyiqin at T1,T2,T3. I was like, so jakun. Cause I have never taken the train to the airport before! Oh, and the skytrain was so cooool. Yeah, breaked fast @ MACs, cause POPEYE's had no seats ;( Haha. I couldn't let go of (L)'s hand. Haha. Trained back home with (L) and gazed at the stars and the full moon under some void deck near my home. It sucks having to sleep alone at night sometimes in a dark dark room. And I need (L). Tuesday, September 1, 2009 i know you want me to want you I want to. Happy Teachers' Day! Teachers' Day performance is finally over! That's the least of my worries, gone, vanished! IPW's done ^^. Exams are drawing near though. And I have doubts that I'm not gonna do well for my recent Maths test .___. I don't like graphs, I suck at graphs. And my Geography results are kinda, deteriorating gradually. I don't know what I'm suppose to do or intend to do right now. I see no point of myself coming online anymore. Haha. I shall visit www.ultimate-guitar.com. Oh yes, I can't play my guitar, I lost both my guitar pick(s). Bloody foooool. Remind me one more thing, to be careful, at all times with anything. I wanna visit Henderson Waves someday with (L). Anyone knows how to get there?
Let's runaway now let's go away to some place safe.