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Now I can breathe
turn my insides out and smother me.
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M istika, I turned fifteen. I'm an optimist, but it wouldn't hurt for me to be a lil' bit pessimistic. Yes, I'm abnormal, period.
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©Glamouresque. |
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
here we go again. I think I should get a Tumblr account and post pictures instead. ♥ Cause no one listens anyway. Sunday, November 22, 2009
Miserable at best. And I won't let you down, I swear this time I mean it - Mayday Parade. I should have listened to songs by Mayday Parade a long long looooooong time ago. Hehehehe, nothing much happened today. Holidays, are, really, sucky, no, doubt. I've learnt to control my emotions better now. Well, at least I'm trying to, better than not trying at all correct? Oh yes, I need to get a pair of ear rings from any accessory shop, a tank top from Cotton On, (L)'s waaaay belated birthday present and anything else that I find necessary tomorrow. Shall drag (L) all around the mall :O Or do something else, we'll see. Friday, November 20, 2009
misguided ghosts. Cause I'm just one of those ghosts traveling endlessly. I'm going (hopefully) to spend my day on Monday with (L) at East Coast or any other beaches in Singapore and just sit on the sand with him. It doesn't matter if we don't start a conversation, I just want to make sure I've got someone with me when my world comes crashing down. I'll lay on his shoulders, and tell him that I miss him, even if we were sitting together side by side. I'll try not to let go of his hand, cause I don't wanna lose him. I'll tell him that I love him, even if I just said it a few minutes after the previous "I love you", cause I know he'd like me to say that. I'll switch off/silent mode my handphone(s), cause I wouldn't one anyone to ruin my Monday with my loud ringtone. I'll put on my widest smile and bestest behaviour, cause I don't one to let myself down with my self pity and sympathy. Wednesday, November 18, 2009
avant garde. The worst thing is holding on to someone who doesn’t want to be held on to. I feel like a total captive, trapped in a room without anyone in sight. Its just me, in the room, alone and lonely, no one I can possible rely on. I feel like a nomad, having no aim or destination. Having no given route to take and even if there was a specific route, I wouldn't know where it would take me and how I'm gonna get there. I have no endeavors and I don't think I'll be able to achieve any with my pessimistic attitudes towards everything every time I fail to execute a task given to me. I feel like a one man show, having to think/know that I'm the only one that's able to get everything done on time and completed the right way, cause I'm egoistic and keep assuming that other people can't be relied on and/or would totally just mess things up. I'm a perfect epitome of disaster and mostly narcissism. I'm holding on to things that should be let go a long long time ago. Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Told you so. Heh, I'm blogging on my iPhone ! This kinda suck, cause Starhub's going through some network maintanance and the Internet can't be used :( Kinda depressing, hmmm, just have to live with it :D I woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning! Fetched (L) from his place, cause he's going off to MRC camp till Wednesday ;( I can't talk to him till then, the torture! SPH Media Camp is tomorrow! Another highlight, well, I think that's the only highlight for my day tomorrow, and maybe for the rest of my holidays :D Bahahahahah. At least I can take a quick glance at him tomorrow when I report to school in the morning :D I can be deperate and cheeky at times. Hmmmm, to think I was on a verge of giving up this phone :D Silly silly me, okay I should go now. Friday, November 13, 2009
when we were best friends. If it makes your life worth living. I swear, 2012 was a brilliant movie. Was pretty intense, imagine if it did happen. What the hell would we be doing when it did happen? Seriously, it got me thinking. Nauzubillah. Hmmmm, caught 2012 with (L) yesterday! Hmmm, I don't know what else I'm suppose to say anymore. I don't know what I'm suppose to do anymore. Sometimes its just great to have your alone time to reflect upon yourself. You'll soon realise that you don't have to put on a mask and be multi-faceted just to please everyone, cause there would only be a handful who would go a distant just to prove that he/she's worthy of your attention. Which, to me, is also known as kissing up. Tuesday, November 10, 2009
I want an iPhone. 1. Whats your full name? Mistika Ismail. 2. Do you like your first name? Let's just say that its one in a million. 3. How long have you liked the person you currently like? Correction, loveeee. Heh, 5 months and counting. 4. Have you kissed anyone in the last 48 hours? No ;( 5. Did you cry today? Was on the verge to! 6. What are you doing this morning at 8 am? Sleeping. 7. What are you doing an hour ago? Was reciting the Qur'an. 8. What are you currently doing? Doing this quiz. Chatting. 9. Who last texted you a msg? Syafiqin. 10. Have to told anybody you love them today? Yes :D A lot of times. 11. Do you miss anyone now? Yeah. 12. Any plans for tomorrow? Training. 13. What was the reason behind the last time you cried? I think I was alone. 14. Is there anyone you want to be with now? My dear dear dear (L) 15. Have you kissed anyone who's name starts with C? No! 16. Name someone who make you smiles today, how? Its not a someone, its a something. Hahaa. And yeah, (L) did too :D 17. Name a friend who's name starts with 'Z' Zuhri (L), Zuhree, Zi Chang! 18. Which of the friend stays closest to you? Florence, Nabila, Rasyid. 19. Do you prefer to call or to text? Call :D 20. Was yesterday better than today? Not really, can't decide. 21. Can you live a day without tv and your phone? Phone, no. Teeveee, no. 22. Are you mad about anything now? Not having an iPhone. 23. Do you ever think that relationships are really worth it? Some, I know this relationship is. 24. Last person you visited in a hospital? My uncle, I think. Or maybe it was my neighbour. 25. When is your last hug and second last hug? Last hug was from (L), second last was from.. I forgot. 26. What does the last text msg in your inbox says? Hmmm, its a long sms. I don't bother typing it in here. 27. How do you feel about your life now? So far so good :D 28. Do you hate anyone? Naaah. 29. Last person you called? (L) 30. Who usually sent you the most texts in a month? (L) 31. Is your room messy now? My desk is. 32. Who will be mad if your room is messy? My mum! 33. Your shortest relationship? A month and eight days. 34. Who do you look like? Sabrina's sister! And Siti Nurhalizah. Monday, November 9, 2009
Steady hands. Life is the art of drawing without an eraser. - John W. Gardner Well well well, let's see. Training was slack just now, well for me :D I'm alone at home, again. Me and (L) are back to normal, thank God. Everything seems okay, I guess. Which is a great relief *phew* And I'm not a stalker! I'm just, good at blog-hopping and gathering information. I'm random, my apologies. Yay! My hair is long now, I love it \M/. Went out with Justin J. yesterday. Had a heart to heart talk, I guess. Just needed someone to talk to, company I should say. Didn't think we had loads in common. And its kinda strange we managed to finish each others's sentences. Which is wicked cool, I suppose. Saturday, November 7, 2009
We stood so tall, we caught a plane. We smiled so bright, the sun went down. WHY ARE PEOPLE MAKING THEIR BLOGS PRIVATE NOWADAYS?! Haiyaaaaa. Its okay, I have to respect their privacy. I've been getting up in the wee afternoon these past few days, which would explain the insomnia I've been experiencing lately. This sucks .__. I feel like going to KFC now. I want chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! I shall have a feast before I go on a hunger strike! Cause I can't drink any gassy drinks and eat anymore fatty food ;( No more MacDonalds or KFC! I'm still searching for Friday, November 6, 2009
I won't regret. It's all I see in you. 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E3 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 Yay! I got in ThreeeEeeeTwooooo! Yesterday's class chalet was g r e a t! Yes, it was. Haha, the food was, kinda raw, but satisfying. A lot of left over food, didn't eat much though ;( Was too busy cooking the food, teehee. Decided to fast again today :D I'm gonna miss 2E1 like shitzxzxzxzs. I really will, awwwwww, I'm alone at home, and I'm hungry. A few more minutes till breakfaaaaaast! 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E3 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 3E2 Wednesday, November 4, 2009
My story sounds so old. She's gonna get so far gone. Hmmm, chalet's tomorrow. I have to get up early to prepare the chicken and mashed potato. I never liked the holidays. I just found out that there's black pepper cheese! And barbequed ones too. Tuesday, November 3, 2009
But you won't stop crying. This anniversary will never be the same. I'm too dejected to blog, move on, look on the positive side, to think, to do anything basically. Monday, November 2, 2009
Forever can see us, not you and me. I was this close to breaking us apart. All I can possibly do now is go through a crying fit. I'm sorry (L). I shouldn't have done that to you, not till this extent really. I feel like a fool. |
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Let's runaway now
let's go away to some place safe. |
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